Pillar
by sunshinenorcas
Summary: Written PREHalf Blood Prince As Harry struggles to deal with the events of the last few years, her finds his true pillar's of strength.


Pillar

Harry made his way up to Gryffindor tower, limping. He clutched his shoulder tenderly with one hand, while he braced himself against the wall with the other. His whole entire face stung, he knew from a glance in the mirror that a bruise was rising on one cheekbone and several cuts and scratches adorned his features, making his appearance comparable to Mudungus Fletcher. His hair was more messy than usual, and his face was flushed. He leaned into the cool wall, not for the first time thanking its supporting strength.

"Bloody… gits…" he growled hoarsely, rubbing his sore shoulder and wincing as a stab of pain rocketed through him.

But he smiled. Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle thought they could attack him unawares as he tried to sneak back up Gryffindor Tower after his walk through the grounds. They kicked his ass to begin with, true, but he beat them once he got a hold of his wand again. They were stuffed rather unceremoniously into an old closet that normally none of them would have been able to fit into upon their own devices.

Well, when they were normal sized anyways…

His smile became grim as his now aching joints cried out. They had severely beaten him, his worse beating since Dudley, but he felt that was nothing to the way he had hexed them. All three of them rather resembled giant, slimy, ugly, piles of… stuff.

Not that they looked (Or smelled) worse normally, but still…

Harry dragged his aching body to the portrait hole and stood staring at the Fat Lady. He couldn't for the life of him remember the password to get in.

"Er…" He said, racking his brains.

The Fat Lady gave him a disgruntled look, and he thought he knew why. It was very late, after eleven at least.

"Well?" she grumbled.

Harry sighed. "Come on, I've been going to Hogwarts for six years, can't you just let me in?"

The Fat Lady looked at him, disgusted telling him quite plainly what she thought of that.

"No? …Eh…" He thought harder, casting desperate looks around for help. A small spun glass figure of two birds entwined sparked his memory and he blurted, "Heron!"

The Fat Lady swung open on her hinges to admit him, grumbling under her breath. He eased himself through tenderly and looked around.

The fire burned low in its grate, casting dying light upon an empty room. Someone stirred in one of the chairs in front of the fire and Harry automatically reached for his wand. The person got up and stepped around the chair to see who came in.

"Ron asked me to stay awake and wait for you…" Hermione said, with a stretch. "Must have dozed off… Oh my goodness! Harry, what happened?" she yelped, finally seeing his bruises.

"Malfoy." Harry said simply as Hermione lead him to a chair and sat him down in it, before fluttering anxiously.

"Oh dear… should we go to Madame Pomfrey?" Hermione said, sitting opposite of him.

"Not now, it's to late." Harry snapped. "I'll go in the morning…"

"But what about those cuts? Some of them look kind of nasty…"

Harry shrugged. "I'll be fine…" He told her, but Hermione bit her lip.

"Just a moment…" she said, getting up and running up the stairs to the girl's dormitories. Harry felt as if he had barely had time to wonder what she was doing, Hermione was back again, holding a small box. She came back to him and sat down, opening the box in her lap. Harry looked over at it; it was a small muggle first aid kit. He gave her a strange look as she pulled a swab and small bottle of what seemed to be rubbing alcohol out and loading the swab.

"Mum and dad gave it to me when I first started Hogwarts, I forgot about it though, on the train ride. I was digging through my stuff the other day looking for a book and I found it again. Funny how this stuff works like that, huh?" She held the swab up. "This is going to sting a little." She warned him, moving to the seat next to him and holding his chin.

Harry gave her a look. "I believe I can deal with the sting." He told her coolly, but he still winced when the alcohol touched his already tender face. Hermione paid no attention to his wince, merely continued to clean the cut.

"So, why did Malfoy jump you?"

"Because he's a mindless git?" Harry growled through gritted teeth. "I don't know. And Crabbe and Goyle were with him to."

"Ah." Hermione said simply, pulling a band-aid out and slapping it on the smarting, clean cut. "Where did you go after dinner anyway? Ron and I were really worried…"

Harry shifted in his seat, one eye on Hermione as she loaded a swab up again.

"Outside." He said quietly, flinching at the sting.

Hermione's hand shook as her voice remained steady, but she didn't look into his eyes.

"Thinking?" she asked him quietly.

He nodded again, not looking at her. It had begun earlier in the year; he had taken to taking walks outside the school after dinner. But the walks grew longer and longer as he turned confused thoughts into a jumble inside his head.

Hermione sighed sadly, one hand lingering on his jawbone as she leaned her head against his for the briefest moment. Harry made a noise deep in his throat in surprise and glanced up at her. She pulled away, putting another bandage on his face. Harry could see tears shimmering in her eyes.

"Hermione…?" He asked, starting to get up.

Hermione shook her head violently and half turned to pull another band-aid out of the box. She stopped, one hand resting on the lid.

"Harry, what were you thinking about for so long?" she asked quietly.

Harry was silent for a long time. "Sirius." He answered hoarsely. "And Cedric. And Voldemort…"

Hermione was quiet before turning back to him; she put the band-aid on his face but stood standing there for a long time, one hand resting on his shoulder. He looked up at her through his bangs; she was biting her lip and seemed to be thinking of what to say.

"Harry… I…" she started before stopping and rubbing her eyes.

He looked up at her, his face grim. Hermione sank to her knees on the cold flagstone floor to look into his face.

"We're friends right? Me, you and Ron?" She said.

Harry nearly laughed out loud at the obviousness of the question. "Of course! I trust you two more then anyone…"

Hermione looked into the fireplace. "Then why… Harry, then why won't you talk to us?" she asked in a quiet, sad voice.

Harry sat, silent, waiting for her to explain. Hermione rubbed her face before saying in a tearful voice,

"I mean… ever since last June… you've hardly talked to me and Ron about Sirius… And I know I've never lost someone who was that close to me, but… Harry… you scare me sometimes when you go outside with that hard, far away look you have when you go! I don't know…" Her voice broke. "I wonder sometimes if your not going come back…"

Harry took this in before saying quietly, "You think I'm suicidal?"

Hermione gave a watery laugh.

"Not really, no… But if I were to expect anyone to be, it'd be you…"

Harry's laugh was sharp and sarcastic. "I don't need to add myself to the list of those who want me dead." He told her, "It's long enough…"

She laughed again, rubbing the tears from her eyes.

"Harry… me and Ron are your friends, you know that… I mean… you can count on us to be there for you, to support you. I would without a question, I'm sure Ron feels the same…"

"Except if had to do with neglecting homework?" Harry asked.

Hermione gave a slight smile. "Only if need be…" She stood up, one hand resting on his shoulder. "I'll always be your support, …" she said, in a whisper almost before turning and heading to the girls dormitories.  
Harry listened to her footsteps, her words turning over in his head. He felt his throat constrict and his eyes fill. He glanced up at her; she had reached the foot of the stairs. He got to his feet and saw her pause on the first step, her back to him. He crossed the room slowly, and stood behind her for a moment before stepping closer and resting his head against her shoulder. He heard her make a questioning noise, and turn to look at him, he didn't meet her eyes, his face buried in the gray fabric of her shirt.

"Harry?" She asked turning around and stepping down so they were on equal footing.  
He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly, burying his face in her neck. He fought desperately not let his tears spill over, but a few managed to leak out. Hermione squeaked when he pulled her to him, but wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned against the wall for support.  
How long they stayed like that, they didn't know, but when Harry pulled away it had seemed ages. He rubbed his eyes furiously.

"You must think I'm a pansy, huh?" he said thickly.

Hermione smiled. "Your about as much as a pansy as Ron is a dancing girl." She said, startling a laugh out of him.

"Yeah…" Harry rubbed his face again. "I'm going to bed and then I'll see Pomfrey in the morning…"

Hermione nodded and started up the stairs. "See you in the morning…" she said with a yawn.  
Harry caught her wrist as she went up. "…Thanks…" he told her quietly. Hermione smiled, "Any time…"

She squeezed his hand before jogging up the stairs and out of sight. Harry looked at the empty stairs for a moment longer before smiling and heading up to the boy dormitories, his fight quite forgotten. He changed quickly and quietly and climbed into bed, his mind on the pillars of strength that supported him, the pillars of strength that could also be called his friends.

/End/ Pillar


End file.
